Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
