His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
