Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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