cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
