i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
