is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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