i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
