all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
