the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
