I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
