So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You are the jesus of drinking
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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