how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
