I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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