How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
