i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
