CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
