I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
