i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
