There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
