I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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