I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
