what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
