Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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