She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
