The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
