check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
