He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
