I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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