Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
