i just made my gag reflex go away.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
