Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she looked like the before picture.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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