I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The power of my boobs compel you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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