we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
