Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
