Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
