Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
