sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
