9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
