When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
