normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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