She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
