You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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