I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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