Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
