You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
