Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
