wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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