Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
