I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
