I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
