Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You were trust falling into bushes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
