Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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