Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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