Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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