Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
